Spoiled Weekend :(

Out of the 7 days in a week, I have to fall sick on a weekend! A weekend!!! I had plans for the weekend and it all came tumbling down on Saturday morning :(
I woke up early that morning but still felt tired so I slept back again and end up waking up with a fever and a cold! Took my temperature and it went from 37.5ºC to 38.5ºC in the afternoon and 39.2ºC in the evening. I didn't went to the hospital or clinic (crazy! I know!) I just took paracetamol for the fever and try to rest as much as I can.
I was supposed to attend a bbq/picnic in Serasa beach on Sunday but due to my condition I was unable to :( I must have exhausted myself last week. On Monday, we had the Langkah Sihat and we walked for 2.5km, that evening I played tennis with my cousins, the next day I played badminton with my colleagues, on Wednesday I had sore throat (but took some medication for it and I was ok) and then on Friday, I played badminton again. I felt well throughout the week but I guess it was too extreme for my body to handle all the activities and chose the weekend to shutdown.
I feel much better today except the cold is still there. I'm taking a break from all the activities this week and make sure I'm 100% recovered. I don't want my sickness to be mistaken for swine flu because I've all the symptoms (unfortunately that was the joke of the day among my friends during the bbq) :P

Disruptive sleeping pattern

My sleeping pattern is so screwed lately. It started since the death of my grandma. I don’t know why but probably her death affected me badly in some ways without me realising it.

I would normally sleep around 10pm+ or 11pm and woke up in the middle of the night around 4am+ just for a short while and then goes back to sleep. I know the exact time because I can see my clock glowing in the dark. Then I will wake up as usual around 6am+ for work except for Saturday where I usually wake up late.

Apart from the sleeping pattern, I also had some scary dreams. In one dream, I was longing for someone to come back but I knew that the person had already died. I refuse to accept it and eventually burst out crying and I cried for real! I woke up shortly after that.

And last night, I dreamed that I was about to be admitted to the hospital. I can only recall some part of the dream now. I think I was brought to the hospital in an ambulance and was sitting on a bed. I don’t feel sick or anything, but when my dad asks the nurse if I can go home she said I need to be admitted because they are some swelling on my mouth or face. And I woke up after that to get ready for work, apart from waking up earlier at 4am+.

I know something is bothering me that causing me to experience all these but I just don’t know what it is. It could be something physical, emotion or feeling but whatever it is... I just want my normal life/ sleeping pattern back. *sigh*

Maybe I just need a break!

When life depends on drugs

I have to depend on some medications for my health nowadays. Apparently, I've a perennial allergic rhinitis, eczema & high blood pressure. And it has to happen now at this age! I'm allergic to dust & pollen which cause me to have flu-like symptoms for days. And for my eczema, it comes & go depending on the food I eat & also the hot weather. My sensitive nose started when I was on 2 weeks spring holiday to the UK in 2007. I was not (as far as I know) allergic to anything at that time. I remember I was admiring some flowers & the sakura tree in St.James' park. Few days later, I was in Paris watching the news on TV which reports that the pollens from the sakura tree are making people sick (hayfever). I was having stuffy nose by then but was blaming it on the cold weather. I continue to have runny nose when I return back home & it got complicated. I had high fever, runny nose and a perforated eardrum. The pain radiates to my jaw & I couldn't open my mouth wide. I lost weight (which was a good thing) because I can't eat properly. It was the worst fever that I've ever experienced. Months later, I suffered partial deafness and had to be referred to a ENT specialist in JPMC. They did an endoscopy in my nose on local anesthetic and found a swelling at the back of my nose. I underwent a biopsy surgery few days later and thankfully, the outcome of the biopsy was negative for cancer. To cope with my sensitive nose, I've to depend on a nasal spray for the rest of my life.*sigh* so many health problem at this age! I hope & pray that I'll be able to overcome it. At the meantime, the medicines are my side dishes!

For my high BP...

For my eczema...

For my sensitive nose...


To get rid of phlegm, which I'm currently suffering from...

Adau Gayoh - May 1st

Today the Dusun community celebrate Adau Gayoh (translate 'big day'). Its something like thanksgiving for the harvesting season. Families usually get together, have big feast at their houses and kids enjoying themselves playing on the bouncers.

This year my family are not celebrating it because of the recent loss of our loved one and also it coincide with the 14th day since my grandma's passing. We will have some makan-makan tonight (as part of the tradition) and tomorrow we will visit her grave.

I'm sure my family feel the loss *sigh* I'm still missing them both badly. It'll never be same without the both of them now :( R.I.P.

Anyways, wishing all Dusun people : 'Selamat Adau Gayoh'

Rest In Peace Grandma

I was not able to type out an entry so soon to follow up on the previous one because my family suffered another loss of a loved one recently.

My dearest and beloved grandma passed away on Friday morning (17^th April) in RIPAS hospital. She collapsed and slipped into a coma the previous day and never regained consciousness. She was 97. Just 69 days apart from my grandpa, who passed away last February this year.

On Thursday, most of the families were at the hospital eagerly waiting for news on her condition. We met the doctor and were devastated when he said there was no hope left and just be prepared in the next 48 hours.

She was admitted in the SICU and only two visitors were allowed at a time. All of us took turn to go in. I was anxious for my turn and keep asking my relatives about her condition but none said anything. When my turn came, seeing her lying on the hospital bed with tubes everywhere broke my heart into pieces. I was expecting her to be sitting upright in her bed, smiling and welcoming us but that didn’t happen. It pains me so much to see her that way. I shed more tears the rest of the day and went back home feeling gloomy. I was really praying and hoping for a miracle to happen.

The following morning, I got up as usual to get ready to go to work but I was feeling in doubt and knew something was wrong. I wanted to take another emergency leave from work that day. My dad was also on his way to work when he received a phone call from my uncle informing us my grandma was in a critical condition. This saddened me more. I left home just after 7am and received another call from my dad… the news that I dread to hear… my grandma had passed away. I made a turn and called my niece first. It took a while for her to answer it and when she finally did, I couldn’t speak because there was a lump in my throat. Eventually I blurted out that our grandma had passed. We both cried on the phone and there was nothing left to say.

When I reached home I woke my mom and told her the news. My dad came home a few minutes later. We busied ourselves that morning getting ready to go to my grandparent’s house in Kg. Lamunin. Her body was brought back to the house that morning while my uncle and cousins arranged for the coffin and other funeral arrangement.

I did not want to believe that she was gone. I expected to see her walking around the house, spraying ridsect on some ants or sweeping the floor…her regular activites. It pains me so much that even up till now I’m still regretting for not visiting her for the past few weeks. My last visit was before I went to the Philippine and the UK for my holiday. Now I will only have memories of her to cherish: her sweet laughter and beautiful smile.

Dearly missed by loved ones

Love you always grandma.

Country Hopping: Philippine

It has been a while since I last update my blog. Well anyways I'm back home now and thought I should spend some time updating it. So where have I been lately? Hmmm... let say 'country hopping'. I've been traveling a lot lately and I've raised few eyebrows here and there when I told them about my unusual hobby hahaha... I was in the Philippine last month for a couple of days to attend a meeting in Tagaytay for an upcoming event to be held there this November. It was my third trip to the Philippine. I've been there before in 2000 and 2006. We arrived in the evening on a direct flight from Brunei.We stayed at a very nice place called Bukal Ng Tipan (no idea what it means) upon our arrival. It is situated on top of a very high hill just outside of Manila. It has a very nice and peaceful environment and a great view of the city.
We arrived a day earlier so we had the chance to go around Manila for sightseeing and shopping. We first went around Quezon city looking for a shop that sells priest vestment and for lunch till in the afternoon, we went to the Mall of Asia (MOA), one of the biggest shopping malls in the world. Went around the mall and manage to do a bit of shopping here and there.
We left for Tagaytay on the same day and it took us about 2½ hours because of the traffic. It was a long and tiring journey. We arrived safely at the meeting venue by nightfall and rested for the night.
I recognised some familiar faces during the meeting. I met them during a conference I attended in Johor in 2006. The meeting went smoothly and I really enjoyed my short visit there. The people were very helpful and kind and also, the food was amazing! Our meals were prepared by two Italian nuns and a Filipino nun.

Sadly we had to leave a day early because there was no flight the next day and also, I had another flight to catch the day after. There are a lot of preparations to do and I'm looking forward for the next trip =)

Bye Bye iPod

I'm a bit frustrated now because I accidentally left my ipod at the back of my jeans pocket and in a rush, put it in a washing machine and the rest is history... *sigh* I can't believe I was that careless. And to make matters worst, just this morning I found my pendrive was in there as well!!! But thankfully the pendrive still works but, sadly, not the ipod :(
I arrived home at midnight from bndr and was exhausted and sleepy. I almost doze off while driving! I rushed to get my laundry done that night because I'm leaving for Manila later in the evening. I totally forgotten about the ipod and pendrive in my pocket, I put it there when I was getting out of the car. Did my laundry, took a shower and while showering I heard a loud thud from the washing machine. I stop it and have a look in it but found nothing then I let it continue. I can't think straight at that time because I was extremely tired. I look around my room and saw my phone on the desk so that couldn't be it, my wallet..nope, watch...nope then finally it clicks...my iPod in the back pocket!! aarrgghhh.... it was at the bottom of the washing machine with no sign of life...I quickly dried it and place it in a container of rice hoping there's a chance of survival. Last I check... it still hasn't work :( I'm trying to be optimistic now and leave the ipod for another 24hours in the rice container. Hopefully it'll works by tomorrow! Just have to remind my mom about it. Moral of the story: don't do your laundry when you are sleepy or at least check the pockets before loading it in the washing machine!!!